Realities of the times and the humor of aging

 

Sharing these images with you for some laughter — and truth!

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The case of the snotty receptionist

I got this joke from a friend and I thought I would share it with you, well, just for a change and for some laughter.

But you know what – this may sound funny, but there are really some doctor’s receptionists out there that are just as overbearing and unsympathetic as the one featured here.

Obviously, you will notice that the patient here is a senior citizen and a quick witted one who administered to her a quick dose of her own medicine – and even worse!

That is all one has to do to put this type of puffed-up clerks in their right place.

receptionist2

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted

The waiting room was filled with patients.

As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that she was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice, she said, 

“YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man. But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,

“NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”

The room erupted in applause!

 

 

 

 

A waiter’s useful spoon

Every once in a while I get bored writing and I opt instead to share with you funny (to my standard) images and/or a story to enliven one’s self. This is one of those times and what I am posting reminds me of stories or videos I have seen in the past about despicable reactions of waiters towards an equally despicable customer’s food before being served.
Well, what you are about to read is a story of what I consider a very alert and creative waiter serving an observant and a very inquisitive customer – in fact too inquisitive for his own good!
So a word of caution, please: Watch out for waiters with a spoon in his shirt pocket!
waiter
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?” The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant… He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen.”The diner ate his meal.
As he was paying the waiter, he commented, “Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?” The waiter replied, “Yes, we all do. Seems that the same Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our hands after using the men’s room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time.” “Wait a minute,” said the diner, “how do you get your penis back in your pants?” “Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon.”

Humor despues de mucho barullo politico (Humor after much political brouhaha)

Compartiendo con ustedes lo que debemos tener como un respiro del mucho ruido sobre la locura política – especialmente en Filipinas.  (Sharing with you what we should have as a respite from too much noise over crazy politics – especially in the Philippines.)

Aforismos sobre la cerveza (Aphorisms about beer)

Encuentro algunos de estos aforismos sobre la cerveza en la vida de los que les gustan beber interesante y divertida (y veraz?) que yo no puedo sino compartir con ustedes los imagenes. Saludos! (I find some of the aphorisms about the beer in the life of those who loves drinking it interesting and funny that I could not help but share it with you the images. Cheers!)

 

beer1

Vodka + ice = damages the kidney

Rum + ice = damages the liver

Whisky + ice = damages the heart

Beer + ice = damages the brain

Wow…how much damage does ice make

beer2

The one who drinks beer live less…

Less stressed,

Less busy

Less sad and

Less bitter.

beer3

If I disappear, don’t put my

picture on milk cartons.

Put them on beer bottles, coz

if not, my friends will never see them.

beer4

The beer and the                                     The Corona must                             The Victoria must be

family in man’s life.                                 be the wife because                         lover because she is

she is number 1.                                the best of all.

 

The XX Lager must                                 The Sol must be the                          The Cahuama must be

be the daughter because                         mother-in-law because                    the prostitute because

she always gives one                                she is never liked.                              everyone uses her but they

the headache.                                                                                                           all deny it.

 

 

 

 

A senior moment episode

senior momentsWhile we can still laugh at it, we might as well do it, realizing that sooner or later the joke will be on us. In fact I had been experiencing ‘mental glitches’ that I find sometimes incredibly amusing. But what I am sharing with you here is something more serious for this age-denying couple.

This story bearing the title ‘Forget – me – nots’ was submitted by Lisa Barnes to the Readers Digest’s ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ section, August 2014 issue.

At 86 and 84 years of age, John and Susan notice they’re beginning to forget little things, so they decide to visit the doctor. “Many people find it useful to write themselves little notes,” says the doctor. “Why don’t you try that?”
After dinner that night, Susan turns to John: “Be a dear, won’t you, and get me a dish of ice-cream from the kitchen …and maybe write that down so you won’t forget?”
“Piffle,” says John. “I can remember a dish of ice-cream.”
“Well,” says Susan. “I’d also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it.”
“My memory’s not all that bad,” says John. “Dish of ice-cream. Strawberries. Whipped cream. I don’t need to write it down.” And with that, he disappears into the kitchen.
After some time, during which Susan hears pots and pans banging around, John finally re-emerges with a plate of bacon and eggs, which he duly presents to his wife.
Susan looks at the plate and says, “Hey, where’s the toast I asked for?”